Monday, September 23, 2013

All that I ask

Gravity pulls and
We fall from the clouds
We prove to each other
That we're both human now
The time that we spent
Trying to make sense
Of it all

All that I'm asking for
Is that you need nothing more
And nothing comes in between
Our love and it's fragile, see
All that I'm asking for
You're all that I'm asking for

Now we walk together
Knowing where we've been
Knowing mistakes are being mistaken again
It's in the past tense
There is no making sense of it now

All that I'm asking for
Is that you need nothing more
And nothing comes in between
Our love and it's fragile, see

All that I'm asking for
You're all that I'm asking for

In the still of your hands
Anything can happen now
With every beat of my heart
Love speaks in silence

In the still of your hands
Anything is possible
With every beat of my heart

The time that we spent
Trying to make sense, of it all

All that I'm asking for
Is that you need nothing more
And nothing comes in between
Our love and it's fragile, see

All I'm asking for
Is that you need nothing more
And nothing comes in between
Our love and it's fragile, see

All that I'm asking for

You're all that I'm asking for

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Amnesia

People say having Amnesia is devastating. That uncertainty about everything, not knowing what or who you can trust. Suddenly you have no frame of reference. We are all creatures of our past, more or less. We act out of references from similar situations. We know this causes pain, that brings rewards. If you have amnesia, how would you know? Every experience is new and terrifying. That's what they say.

I think there is something worse. Waking up to find that your entire past was a lie. Your memories are in-tact, but all the references we've built up were fabricated by someone else. Things you thought you knew for a fact are no longer true. You cannot fall back on memories and reassuring "truths" - they don't exist. They were all faked. How do you go on? How do you respond to any situation, knowing that your natural reaction and learned tactics are useless? It is a kind of torture, hanging in limbo. There is no guarantee on anything anymore and you wander around feeling like you are adrift in the sea. You don't know where land is anymore - the beach you see before you could be just another mirage. So many things have proven themselves to be lately. You drift and drift, getting so tired. Your muscles ache and there is a deep-down tiredness that makes you just want to give up. Give up and sink. At least death is never a lie - the end is the end. But this life, of exertion without the promise of reward takes all of you. It drains your soul.

We all live on hope, to some extent. What do you do when there is none left? When you can't trust anything? How do you cope? Is there even a way?

Amnesia seems like a sweet dream. Forgetfulness, not knowing about the lies and not having your whole world proven false. There is simply nothing... from which you can build a new life and build new memories.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Storm

How long have I
been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form.
Water's getting harder to tread
with these waves crashing over my head.

If I could just see you,
everything will be alright.
If I'd see you,
the storminess will turn to light.

And I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright
and everything will be alright.

I know you didn't
bring me out here to drown.
So why am I 10 feet under and upside down?
Barely surviving has become my purpose,
cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface


Thursday, October 25, 2012

How 'real' is your reality?


I have a love-hate relationship with philosophy. Some of the concepts really fascinate me. I love the freedom of thought, the wondering about life and the making sense of things. To an extent, I admire philosophers for their strength of character in a willingness to question and explore.

But then, I look at all the philosophies that take us so far from God. Some are mere babble, and are interesting because they can be laughed at. But others are so dangerously close to the truth that for the person who is unsure of himself, his purpose and his beliefs, it looks to BE the truth and the lie becomes indistinguishable. These philosophies are tricky, tricky. Leading the unwary to fall into the same pit that bore them. I think sometimes that God must abhor these types of philosophies – leading children to a fall before they have even begun to walk.

I recently read a piece of philosophy – where and what will remain unnamed – that stated that there is no such thing as objective reality; only our subjective view on reality. Thus saying, there is no person that knows the whole, objective truth. We all colour reality through our experiences and bias. To an extent I do agree. We are so fallible and so feeble. It takes only one person with superior reasoning skills or a higher IQ who forms a persuasive argument to make us doubt ourselves and change our point of view. What is that popular quote? – History is written by the victors. The predominant theory of our time writes the history and gets labelled as “truth”. The world’s truth changes every few decades or so...

Where are we to stand then? How do you decide which philosophy to follow, which theory to ascribe to?

For me, it has become simple. I will follow the only absolute truth I know: the Word of God. It will be a measure against which I measure all others. True, we as humans cannot be objective. Only the Almighty can claim to be truly objective, to truly see the matter as it is. We cannot possibly be able to comprehend all the facets of every matter, both physical and spiritual. But He can. And so, clinging to Him becomes the only option. When we wonder, when we doubt, we need only ask. He knows the consequences of every single action and the motivation behind every single thought. He is the only one who can see both sides of each story, because He is the ultimate truth against which it will be weighed.

Accepting this, we can be confident of our actions even when they don’t make sense to the world at large. “What? Forgive my enemies? Bless those that curse me? How absurd!”
“Give away TEN percent of my money? You’ve got to be kidding!”
“Rest one day out of seven? I don’t have time for that!”

It makes no sense, but He can see the outcome of every action. The deeper impact that we cannot hope to see with mere physical eyes. There is a real world behind this one – our life, our reality is merely a shadow. How can we hope to know what our actions do if we cannot see past this realm? There is only one way and that is by following His Word. The ultimate guide to the universe, I’d say.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Revelation

Amazing, amazing. The more you learn, the more you realise how completely awesome, terrifying and beautiful God is. He is complete in Himself, sovereign, and yet He cares for such a one as me. Thinks of me as beautiful and worthy to be His bride...

I'm listening to a teaching by Paul Washer entitled, quite aptly, The Greatness of God. He is explaining how powerful, how amazing God is. Do you realise that He has the whole world in his hand? That He is in complete control? There is nothing that you can do or that can happen that He has not forseen or is not in control of. Our God is a mighty God to be feared and loved. But what's more... think of yourself as a slave. Think of slaves in days gone by. What did they worry about? The only thing they worried about was doing the will of their master. They didn't worry about food - it was their master's job to feed them. They didn't worry about clothes - he dressed them as he wished. The only thing they concerned themselves with was making sure they did they will of their master.

How much more should we be the same? We know this God - he merciful, slow to anger, abounding in love... such a good God, not giving us what we deserve and more than we could ever ask for. Not a human master with fickel moods and a temper. WHY do we worry about trivial things? ALL we need worry about is how to please our master. He promises to take care of everything else. He is completely, fully in control.

Let me share another anology Paul Washer used. Look at a little child. He doesn't worry about food - his father will make sure that lunch is ready when it needs to be. He doesn't worry about anyone hurting him - his father will sort them out. Such faith in a limited, human man. How much more can we expect this from our God? We don't need to worry about one, single thing other than pleasing God. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

In Love Again

What an amazing feeling... to fall in love again. It's amazing when you find Someone to love, and the more you learn about Him the more you fall in love. You find yourself thinking about Him all the time. Even when you are busy, you'll suddenly realise your thoughts have drifted towards Him again. But it's OK and you know it's safe. You can sink deeper into this feeling and let yourself go. Because there are no negative consequences and no regrets.

Falling into His arms, I feel safe. The more I learn, the more I realise how faithful He is. Amazing how He can love me; amazing the priviledge I have to love Him back. His words are true - He never goes back on His word. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He has no fickle moods. So I know the things I learn will be just as true today as they were 20 years ago. He is constant. A rock to rely on, air to breathe, water to enfold.

I am getting addicted to this dance and the great thing is that there is no shame in it. The only infatuation on earth that makes you more and better the longer you are addicted. No one can lure me away, no one can take me from His arms. He is mine and I am His.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Just thinking


Feeling pensive today. Have been feeling this way for weeks now. Or should I say I've been musing for weeks? Thinking about life, about choices we make, about where we are now. Started thinking about all the things I would change if I could go back in time and make different choices. But that's a road best not traveled on.

Some days I feel like I get stuck in the dream. I fantasize about another time, another life and other possibilities. Then I open my eyes and long for that reality. How can you miss a place you've never been to? Hmm. I suppose I have been there... in my dreams.

Perhaps this is my own special little form of escapism. Perhaps not the most productive habit of all, but most days I can't bring myself to care about that. I feel like I have something inside me, a large-ness, a potential, and this is the only way to let it out.